St. Louis Rams Shock NFL By Trying To Draft Asomugha (satire)

With the First overall pick on Thursday night, the St. Louis Rams shocked the sports world when they decided not to draft quarterback Sam Bradford, but instead take Oakland Raiders cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha.

“We were looking for a pick that was certain to make an impact for a number of years,” Rams GM Bill Devaney said. “The way I see it, the guy we just drafted has already established himself as one of the best players and is certain to make us a contender.

While there is no doubt that this caught ESPN’s Mel Kiper off guard, no one was more shocked than Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis.

“Last time I checked, you couldn’t draft someone already in the NFL. I mean, that was in 1947, but the rules couldn’t have changed that much, could they?” Davis responded.

As soon as the pick was in, the fans started to stir and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell immediately went into the back to discuss the merit of the draft pick

After about an hour of confusion, it was determined that the pick, while uncontested by Asomugha, was indeed against the rules and the Rams would have to select another player.

Though this wasn’t a shock to the other 31 teams in the NFL, the news came as a great shock to the Rams.

“We can’t figure out why they won’t let us pick him. The Raiders are a distinguished program from the Pac 10, and adding a player of his caliber would do wonders with our defense,” Rams head coach Steve Spagnuolo said.

Upon hearing Spagnuolo’s comments, Commissioner Goodell was quick to inform the Rams that the Raiders were actually one of the 32 teams in the NFL and not a college football program.

“I understand the confusion. I mean, if it wasn’t for the fact that I have nightmares about Al Davis, I would probably forget they were in the NFL too,” Goodell said. “Look at their roster! I think the only reason they don’t move back to LA is that they would be afraid that USC would want to play them.”

The Rams finally came to the realization that the Raiders were actually a professional football team and drafted the Oklahoma quarterback, but are still hopeful to acquire Asomugha.

“From what I read online about these ‘Oakland Raiders,’ they take pride in getting washed up players. Maybe we can convince them that A.J.Feeley is a superstar and trade for him.”

Do The Baltimore Orioles Know How To Win?

Well, by now you know the story. This was supposed to be the year that the Orioles actually set “winning” as their goal of the season. Unfortunately for fans in Baltimore, setting something as a goal doesn’t mean that it will happen.

Since Andy MacPhail has taken over, the Orioles have stockpiled talent in the minor leagues through the draft and various trades. Slowly, that young talent has arrived in the big leagues. This was the reason every Orioles fan was starting to be optimistic.

However, at 2-15, there is no doubt that this talent hasn’t translated into victories. This begs the question, “Why?”

Now, over the past few weeks, we have heard every possible explanation; ranging from them having no heart, to Dave Trembley being the worst manager in the history of baseball.

While there is merit to all of these (some obviously having more than others), I suggest something else. I don’t think the players on the Orioles know HOW to win.

As strange as it sounds to say that professional baseball players don’t know how to win, it is the issue the Orioles have found.

Think about the areas Baltimore is struggling. Finishing off games and hitting with runners in scoring position have been by far the two reasons the O’s can’t crack the win column these days.

Call it being clutch, or what ever you want, but it comes from knowing how to execute and having the ability to do it at that moment. Those are characteristics of a winner.

Look at a guy like Derek Jeter. He isn’t the most talented player, but when things matter, he delivers. The ability to do this on a consistent basis doesn’t come from just skill, but a quality in ones psychological being.

The Orioles haven’t had a winning season since 1997. Their AAA affiliate, whether it be Norfolk or Ottawa, has had just one winning season since 2004, and the O’s manager hasn’t ever coached a successful MLB club. Where do they learn how to win in professional baseball?

You can say that winning in the minors doesn’t matter for the development of players, but you are wrong. That winning attitude in the minors builds the mind set of a winner that I’m talking about.

Yea, that mind set can be taught in the pro’s in some cases, but the Orioles don’t have a manager or player that has had the success to teach it.

I look at this team and see one with as much talent as any in baseball. There is absolutely no excuse for this bad of a start, and if you watched the first couple of games, you wouldn’t believe that they would start 2-15.

Saying that “they should have won this game or that game” doesn’t mean anything because that ability to close out teams or come through in critical moments is more important that any statistic you can find.

My suggestion is not only to replace Trembley, but add someone who won at this level before. Most importantly, do it soon.

The idea that losing is ok seems to be one that has crept into the Orioles organization and now that a new generation of players is taking over, it is the utmost importance that management makes sure that this idea doesn’t infect them.

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly Of The Baltimore Orioles

At 1-5, the Orioles haven’t exactly started the season with the excitement that many fans were hoping for.

Not only iss the record a bit troubling, but the team Baltimore fans have tuned in to watch seems to be almost the polar opposite of what they expected.

That being said, I present to you the good, the bad, and the ugly of the Orioles first six games.

The Good: The Starting Pitching

If there was one dimension of the O’s that maybe wasn’t expected to excel right away, it was the rotation. Guthrie and Millwood were shaky in spring training, Brad Bergesen is coming off an injury, and Brian Matusz is just a rookie. It was almost expected that the rotation would need a little help.

Instead, the rotation is the only thing keeping the O’s in contention. If you excuse Bergesens rough game (4.2 IP, 5ER), the Orioles starters have an ERA of just 3.00 and are keeping the team in games.

While it’s true that they haven’t gone as far into games as you would like, you can chalk that up to it being early in the year, when pitchers don’t have the command that they will midseason.

The success of this bunch should be taken with much optimism. Matusz had control issues and still struck out 7; David Hernandez proved worthy of the fifth spot, and Guthrie looked way more relaxed on the mound.

Right now, the team’s record is frightening, but the Orioles have always been led by successful rotations when they competed in the past, and this is a great sign that those days will come again.

The Bad: Mike Gonzalez

Tony La Russa once said that if he were building a team, he would start at the closer (his guy was kinda good, Dennis Eckersley…maybe you’ve heard of him), and work backwards from there.

After the debacle that is Mike Gonzalez, Orioles fans understand why.

To say Gonzalez has been erratic is more generous then saying Peter Angelos isn’t THAT bad of an owner. Not only did he make throwing strikes look impossible, but he somehow has trouble with putting it in a place where Matt Wieters can even catch it.

He has four walks in just two IP and after being booed off the mound Friday, he has been told he won’t be the closer until he works his issues out.

The problem with the search for his mechanical problem is his wind up. It is almost as complex as that of Dontrelle Willis and he has been trying to find the glitch in his wind up for years now.

What ever it is, it has caused him to lose a ton of velocity on his fastball and making it impossible for fans to watch.

The Ugly: Baltimore’s Bats

Out of every summary written about the Orioles this spring, there was not one I saw that said the Orioles couldn’t put up runs. Yet, Baltimore is only averaging three runs per game.

Quite frankly, with the exception of Wieters and Garrett Atkins, everyone has been terrible. Luke Scott, Brian Roberts, and Nick Markakis are all batting under .200, and excluding his opening day, Adam Jones is just 3 for 21.

The issue has also come from just terrible numbers with runners-in-scoring-position. At 8 for 54, the O’s have not been able to manufacture runs other than those driven by home runs.

The bottom line is that if you have a man on second with no outs, or one on third with one out, there is no excuse to not pick up a run. Manufacturing runs is something the great teams do regularly and if you can’t do the same, wins are hard to come by.

Memo To All Pitchers: Stop Pitching To Pujols

Just in case you didn’t already know, Albert Pujols is good.

Year after year, Pujols enters his season with outrageous talks of obtaining the Triple Crown, and every year, he delivers with numbers that are almost comical.

This year’s Opening Day was no exception. The Triple Crown seems to be in play, and Pujols did nothing to make you think otherwise.

The big man went 4 for 5 with two home runs and three RBIs.

The consistent demolition of pitchers is starting to make me ask, “Why do these pitchers continue to pitch to him?!”

It hasn’t been that long since we have seen a player who has this much impact at the plate. Barry Bonds in the early 2000’s wreaked just as much havoc as Pujols does now. In fact, pitchers became so afraid of him that they actually developed something that became known as the “Barry Bonds Treatment.”

If you don’t remember what the “Barry Bonds Treatment” was, it was the ideology that you didn’t throw strikes to Bonds. It involved walking him even when the bases were loaded in fear of a grand slam. If the bases were empty, you still didn’t throw anything near the middle of the plate. This caused Bonds to rack up an absurd 232 walks in 2004.

While it seems crazy to walk a player that many times, Bonds’ production proved that it was the best option. Walking Bonds with the bases loaded is indeed conceding a run, but what were the odds he would do more damage?

Bonds is the only player in MLB history to warrant this treatment…until now.

Last season, Pujols came up to bat 17 times with the bases loaded. In those opportunities, Pujols had ten hits, including five grand slams and three doubles. With 35 RBIs, he averaged over 2 per at bat.

Despite that production, not a single pitcher thought about walking him. Every single time, the pitcher shook his head and told himself, “No, it isn’t going to happen to me.”

Isn’t ignorance beautiful?

Most people defend themselves by saying that Matt Holliday isn’t exactly an easy out to follow him. However, while Holliday is a great player, you are comparing a borderline All Star, with one of the top-five greatest players of all-time. It shouldn’t even be a decision worth thinking about. Throw four balls and focus on Holliday.

If I am facing Pujols, here is how I handle him:

1. If first base is open, I walk him
2. If the game isn’t tied and the bases are loaded, I walk him
3. In fact, the only time I pitch to him is if the bases are empty or the bases are loaded in a tie ball game

You can call me crazy if you want, but I think Pujols is far less dangerous on first base than at the plate. If I’m playing him, I am going out of my way to make sure it is someone else who beats me.

Until people come to the same conclusion I do, I will enjoy watching pitchers look confused at how Pujols drilled yet another pitch over their heads.

Julio Lugo Adds Much-Needed Depth to Baltimore Orioles' Infield

The Orioles made what is probably the team’s final transaction before the regular season kicks off by acquiring veteran utility man Julio Lugo from the St. Louis Cardinals this morning.

The O's seemingly got him for nothing, as they will send the Cards either cash or the ever-so-specific “player to be named later.”

While there are some grumblings about bringing in an over-the-hump shortstop to take the utility role from a younger player, the deal makes perfect sense if you believe in Andy MacPhail’s statements.

MacPhail has been saying throughout the spring that this season’s goal is to win. While players are still developing, the term “rebuilding year” is no longer being applied by Baltimore’s management. Because of this, MacPhail is making sure that he gives Dave Trembley the tools to at least make it seem reasonable to achieve the goals of the organization.

Much attention was paid to the corners of the infield this offseason, but the middle isn’t exactly solid as a rock. Cezar Izturis only batter .256 last year while missing 48 games, and Brian Roberts’ potential for injury this year is well documented.

In addition, the struggles of Izturis this spring seem to be unnoticed by those focusing on the younger guys. At 1-47, Izturis’ .128 batting average is the worst amongst all Orioles who have registered a hit. Simply put, pitchers have been hitting as well as Izturis lately.

Throughout the spring, Trembley has talked about how Robert Andino is the man that would fill in and I agree to some extent, but under no circumstance should he be a long term option.

That is where Lugo comes in.

Lugo has not only proved his worth for successful teams, but he spent 2007-2009 in Boston, showing that he can handle the American League East. His .952 fielding percentage isn’t fantastic, but it is serviceable for a utility guy. More importantly, Lugo batted .280 last season, which is drastically better than whoever occupied the position for the Orioles in 2009.

For those who claim that he is too old to be an impact player, I ask you to remember the fact that he was considered good enough to be the Red Sox’s starting shortstop just last season before he got hurt. Then, after he returned, another World Series contender, the Cardinals, thought he had value to contribute as well. Other than being a year older, what make’s you think that he won’t put up similar numbers this year? Remember, age is but a number for some people.

Not only do I see this as a great move to add depth to the infield, I think it is very possible he could take some time away from Izturis and split the starting job. If Izturis is really as bad at the plate as his preseason numbers indicate, the permanent switch could be made in the first month of the season.

2010 NL West Preview

Well, here I am crawling to the finish line of MLB predictions and this series ends with a division the will be as competitive from top to bottom as any in sports. One analyst’s favorite to win the division could be another’s prediction to be fourth; it is that competitive. That being said, here is my breakdown of the final five teams in baseball.

Colorado Rockies:

The Colorado Rockies have a lineup that will be the best small-ball team you will ever see. Carlos Gonzalez and Dexter Fowler are lightning quick at the top of the order and right behind them is Todd Helton, one of the most consistent hitters in baseball. As if that wasn’t threatening, Troy Tulowitzki provides the most power on the team in the clean-up spot. They have a great combination of contact, power and speed and could surprise people with their ability to manufacture runs.

In addition to the offense, the pitching staff is made up of some of the best pitchers you have never heard of. Ubaldo Jimenez has quietly become an ace for the Rockies and he has Aaron Cook, Jorge De La Rosa, and Jason Hammel behind him bringing ERA’s all hovering around 4.00. The x-factor is Jeff Francis. Francis was this team’s ace before suffering a serious injury in 2008. Even if he isn’t everything he used to be, having him back is an invaluable addition.

Prediction: 88-74

Los Angeles Dodgers:

Before you argue the Dodgers won’t be good because Manny Ramirez is in decline, let me say that this has very little to do with ManRam. While he is still an above average hitter, it is the other two outfielders that are scaring every pitcher in baseball. Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp are two of the best young talents in baseball and made Ramirez’s suspension insignificant last year.

Pitching is the strength in LA though. Clayton Kershaw is one of the best lefties in all of baseball, and I believe Chad Billingsley’s 4.03 ERA last season was more of a fluke rather than sign of things to come. Hiroki Kuroda is solid when healthy and having a veteran like Vincente Padilla as a fourth starter is a valuable asset.

The Dodgers biggest concern will be at the catcher position. Russell Martin burst onto the scene two years ago as an all star, but was terrible last year. To try something different, Martin put on 25 pounds in the offseason, but it has already resulted in injuries. Even if he is healthy, gaining weight is a risky move.

Prediction: 86-76

San Francisco Giants

No one will argue that this staff isn’t loaded. Even if you believe that Tim Lincecum won’t be as dominant this year (his velocity has dropped this spring), Matt Cain, Barry Zito, and Jonathan Sanchez are all top-tier pitchers. Scoring runs on the Giants will be difficult on any given day because of their ability to start these guys for any game.

That being said, it is the offense that keeps them from making it to that next level. While Pablo Sandoval was a pleasant surprise last year, I don’t think that he has they power you would what from your 3-hitter. In addition, Aubrey Huff’s numbers declined significantly last season and he spent most of the season in Baltimore, where the left field fence is much shorter than that in AT&T Park. The lack of power is also supplemented with a lack of speed. Speed is crucial in a spacious park, but the Giants management has done a poor job building a team to fit the field they play on.

Prediction: 85-77

Arizona Diamondbacks;

For the last few years, we have seen how dominant Brandon Webb is when healthy. However, after making just one start in 2009, what kind of health will he be in this year?

Even without Webb, Arizona features a good rotation with Dan Haren leading the way. Edwin Jackson is an interesting story to follow this year because of how his 2009 went. After a dominant first half, Jackson had a 5.07 ERA after the break. Some say that hitters just figured him out, while others offer obscure reasons like he was tipping his pitches. Either way, what he brings to the table will be a big key to this team’s success.

Just like the Giants though, the D-backs struggles will be run production. Other than Justin Upton (who has surpassed his older brother BJ as the best Upton), who could be ready for a breakout season, there is no one to fear. Adam LaRoche is a solid hitter, but not a clean-up worthy power hitter, and Mark Reynolds has as much late discipline as Scooby Doo at an all you can eat buffet. Overall, I just don’t see the Diamondbacks scoring enough runs to contend with the Rockies or Dodgers.

Prediction: 84-78

San Diego Padres:

The Padres are the one team that I don’t see posing much of a threat. While the other teams have either a dominating pitching staff or a potent lineup, the Padres are pretty mediocre in all categories.

On offense, the only names anyone would know are Tony Gwynn Jr. and Adrian Gonzalez and they aren’t dominant enough to do much on their own. Gonzalez is by far the best player here, but if the Padres aren’t contending at the All Star Break, he will most likely be shipped somewhere else.

The rotation isn’t much better either. While Jon Garland will be a solid presence when on the mound, there isn’t much experience with success behind him. Clayton Richard and Mat Latos could be on their way to being very competent pitchers in this organization, but this is just Richard’s second season as a full year starter, while Matos is entering the season with just 10 career starts.

Prediction: 73-89

Injuries Could Stifle Baltimore's Breakthrough Season

Ever since Andy McPhail took over as General Manager, Baltimore Orioles fans have had this year circled. This is supposed to be the year that we saw signs that all of the waiting and developing prospects was going to show itself. However, as Spring Training is ¾ done, it seems that something unforeseen could stand in the way, injuries.

Every manager in baseball will say the same thing about record in Spring Training; it doesn’t matter. While I agree that your record doesn’t matter, what happens there is crucial.

Coming into the spring, the Orioles had four major players that either used the offseason as time to heal or were still injured coming in: Nolan Reimold (Achilles), Brad Bergesen (shin and shoulder), Adam Jones (ankle), and Brian Roberts (back). While Roberts’ has been the most publicized, all of these should be concerns.

Since Roberts has been the most talked about, I will start with him. While not the most talked about player anymore, Roberts is as critical to the Orioles success this season as anyone.

Though the Orioles have said he should return to the lineup in a few days, consider this a warning. Back injuries like this don’t just go away. They linger; sometimes they end careers abruptly.

If he can’t consistently be in the lineup, the leadoff spot goes from a solid spot, to one where there isn’t a viable option. Andino would take his spot in the field, but who bats leadoff? Izturis doesn’t have the speed or the average, and Jones has the power to be more of a two or three.

Next comes the most underrated player on the Orioles this year. If you saw Brad Bergesen take that line drive to the shin from Billy Butler, you would know why I’m still concerned. When he got struck, Orioles fans everywhere flashed back to when Mike Mussina got hit in the face by a Sandy Alomar Jr. line drive. It was that gruesome.

Before getting injured, Bergesen was a candidate for rookie of the year and had racked up 11 quality starts in his last 12 starts. If he can return to that form this season, he is probably the staff’s most consistent pitcher.

My issue isn’t so much the shin, but the shoulder injury he got while idiotically shooting a commercial for MASN. Shoulder injuries on a pitcher are never minor…ever. They can cause accidental change in a pitchers delivery, loss of velocity, and loss of movement on the breaking ball.

If I’m right and the shoulder is a bigger issue than Dave Trembley is letting us know, this could go down as the most irresponsible thing the team has ever done with a player.

Injured player number three is the Orioles sole All Star and gold Glove winning centerfielder. If healthy, Adam Jones is the teams most talented player. An amazing combination of speed, contact, power and field give this guy endless potential.

The biggest part of that sentence is “if healthy.” Jones’ 2009 was outstanding when he was able to play, but saw stints on the DL because of hamstring and ankle problems.

Centerfielders have a knack for pulling muscles because of the amount of ground they cover and Jones might not be an exception to this rule. Look what happened to Ken Griffey Jr.

Jones may be the team’s best player, but at least he has a solid back up. Having Pie as a fourth outfielder will be invaluable if Jones can’t go the distance.

Finally, we get to the player I least suspected would be an issue, Nolan Reimold. We knew of Reimold’s achilles injury early in the season last year, but it was so down played, no one spent much thought on it. When he was shut down, it was done quietly and his surgery made very few headlines.

Here we are on March 22, and it still is a major obstacle for Reimold.

As a result of his heel, Reimold has prevented him from playing as much and cause Trembley to keep him from playing back-to-back games pretty often.

That lack of playing time and number of at bats is proving to be a challenge. Reimold is just 1-23 with a measly single this spring. While he is working diligently with hitting coach Terry Crowley, the heel still worries me.