News Flash: Lane Kiffin Is a Turd

It seems like such a long time ago that I defended Lane Kiffin during the debacle in Oakland, but in reality, it has only been a year and a half. It’s funny how time seems longer when you are able to make almost everyone in the country hate you in such a short period.

Back in 2008, I remember saying that I thought Kiffin was a good coach that was stunted because he coached the Raiders. Could you really blame me? It was his word against Al Davis, and since Davis looks like a scary mix of Skeletor and the corpse looking guy from Tales From The Crypt, I tend to side with whoever is in a fight with him. After all, if Satan himself was in a fight with some guy, would you even ask what happened? No. You would blindly take the side of the guy that isn’t the devil. This is what I did with Davis and Kiffin.

Now that we have a year to look back on, we have realized that things weren’t what they seem. It turns out that both guys were pure evil. Kiffin is nothing more than a spoiled brat, and Davis, is well, Davis. I generally make decision based on doing the opposite of what Al Davis does, but maybe he was right to fire Kiffin. We laughed at Davis when he called Kiffin a liar and ignored the possibility that it was true. After all, Davis is nothing more than a senile old fart. Looking back on it now, is it really that farfetched?

It wasn’t until Kiffin’s first acts as coach of Tennessee that I realized how much of a conniving child he was. Kiffin comes into the press conference with the cockiness of someone who has four or five championship rings and starts mouthing off. He targets Florida several times along with everyone else, and promised to revive the Volunteer football program. Instead of accomplishing these things, he has decided that Tennessee is not worthy of his awesomeness and left after just one season. The man, or should I say “boy,” has absolutely zero integrity and no one should believe anything he says.

As if his arrogance (that he had for seemingly no reason) wasn’t enough to hate him, his recruiting tactics and methods were trashy. He accused Florida’s Urban Meyer of recruiting violations and then bragged about signing the prospect despite the fact that the Gators “cheated.” The fun part? What Urban Meyer did that Kiffin said was supposedly illegal, was actually completely legit. What makes it better is that after all of the unwarranted accusations, it was Kiffin who was cited with about a dozen NCAA recruiting violations. Talk about a guy with zero class.

After soaking in all of this knowledge, is this really that shocking of a move? We are talking about a 34 year-old child who never grew up because his dad is legendary defensive coordinator and he was treated like football royalty his entire life. He is the first person to ever force me to share an opinion with Al Davis, and make me root for Florida. People might say that he made Tennessee football relevant again in just one year, but my response to that is, “yea, they became relevant because I wanted them to get embarrassed in every game. Not just lose, but get straight up obliterated.”

If you are a USC fan and you are excited, do me a favor and hit yourself in the head with a hammer. He will not help your program, and will never lead you to a national title. Expect temper tantrums, and a whole bunch of lies. If these things actually helped a team on the football field, the Trojans would be in great shape; however, that isn’t quite how football works. In fact, the only positive thing that comes from hiring Lane Kiffin is that his wife comes in the package as well. If they were to make her the head of recruiting, you wouldn’t lose a recruit ever again. I don’t care if she doesn’t know the difference between a touchdown and a basketball hoop.

To be perfect blunt here, I really don’t care that much because I don’t really like USC football. Oregon is looking like they will take the torch for best team in the Pac 10 and I am fine with that. I am just eager to see if Kiffin can continue USC’s proud history of illegal recruiting practices…yea, I went there.