Thursday, February 4, 2010

Superbowl Stories That Don't Matter

Because we have had two weeks since the last NFL action, tv analysts have had the opportunity to not only talk about every important factor of the Superbowl, but ones that don’t matter at all. Whether they want to admit it, many topics that have been discussed (some of them at great length) will have no impact on the game. I have compiled a list of these to help you know what to ignore when watching tv.

Reggie Bush- Ok, I start here because people are stupid and think that he actually could be the “x-factor”. These people need to have duct tape put over their mouths to get them to stop talking. Bush averaged 28 rushing yards and 24 receiving yards a game this year. Does that sound like a guy that could make or break a game? If you are the Saints, you better hope to God it isn’t. After a good rookie year and a brilliant college career Bush has been the epitome of mediocre. After one great game against Arizona, people wanted to call him a great player again…jeez people are stupid.

New Orleans being the “team of destiny”- Can you believe people are actually picking the Saints for this sole reason? Yea. I have heard people say “I know the Colts are the better team, but I feel like the Saints are just destined to win.” Why does the fact that the Saints have been so bad for years, actually give them an advantage? It doesn’t. Yea, it is nice for the city, and everyone on the team is basically a hero, but if they win, it isn’t because of destiny, it is because they played better. And don’t give me that crap about the team being a symbol of New Orleans coming back from Hurricane Katrina. How long are they going to milk that?

Dwight Freeney- Stay with me on this one. As soon as we found out that the ligament in his ankle was actually TORN, people should have stopped asking about how it’s healing. A ligament would need 4-6 weeks to actually heal and that isn’t happening. Will he play through the pain? Yea, probably. Will he be effective? No. As a right end, his quickness and skill is based purely off that right ankle because that is where he plants to get that burst of speed. Without that, he is barely more affective than his backup.

Colt’s hotel- This is my favorite. People including Mike Golic insinuated than the Colts might be more comfortable because they are staying at the same hotel they stayed at a few years ago for the Superbowl. Soak that in. They actually think that what hotel the Colts stayed at three years ago for like five days actually will make them feel comfortable. For one, all hotels are pretty much the same if they are quality enough for an NFL team to stay there, and secondly, these guys have been in so many hotels for either road games, or to have sex with their mistresses, that there is no way they remember that hotel they stayed at three years ago. Why was this even reported?

The Madden Simulation- Did you know that the simulation of the Superbowl done with the Madden game has been right five out of the last six years? You didn’t? Good for you because I wish I didn’t. Talk about a worthless piece of information. So a video game based off of ratings that are based off of some guy’s opinion said that the Saints would win? That doesn’t matter! This isn’t the BCS (zing!).

So, there you have it. If you disagree, I don’t care because you are wrong. Reggie Bush sucks, Dwight Freeney is too injured for Drew Brees to be scared, and “destiny” is about as important as the political opinion of a kid under the age of 18. Seriously…they can’t vote. Why should you care?

No comments:

Post a Comment