Friday, January 29, 2010

Crosby Starts Growing Playoff Beard Early (satire)

After Thursday’s loss to the Ottawa Senators, Penguins superstar Sidney Crosby announced to the media that he has begun growing his beard in anticipation for the playoffs.

It is a common superstition around the NHL to not shave during the playoffs, but Crosby is the first ever to start before the regular season ends. Many speculate that the reason behind this move is that despite not shaving for the team’s long run to a Stanley Cup championship, Crosby couldn’t grow enough facial hair to keep his upper lip warm.

“We still give him crap for that. I have seen new-born Mexican babies that have better mustaches than him,” joked teammate Sergei Gonchar. “Hell, my mom grows a better mustache in her sleep.”

Crosby hopes that by starting his beard a few months before the playoffs, it will be at least quasi respectable by the postseason.

“It’s kind of depressing. I would trade my Stanley Cup without hesitation if I could have Ovechkin’s ability to grow a beard. I mean, I actually stopped shaving like a month and a half ago, but just forgot to tell anyone. I figured someone would notice eventually, so that’s why I waited until now to come forward about it,” Crosby said.

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