Finally, we have arrived at the main target of my roast- Tommy Cable. The man who voluntarily works for Al Davis. He's so retarded that he was confident enough in JaMarcus Russell to cut Jeff Garcia in training camp. He seems to think the "I didn't do it" defense is going to be a success here even though people are more likely to believe that the new Twilight movie isn't going to be totally gay. The bottom line is that there are about 100 people within your organization that deserve to be just annihilated, so there isn't any reason to go home and beat one of the few people willing to stand you and the odor I assume you carry with you. If you feel like hitting someone, just call Darrius Heyward-Bey or Darren McFadden into your office so you can at least get some benefit out of the bagillion dollars you are giving them this year.
Please God don't let Cable read this...I don't want to be eaten